guys: fight each other all the time
girls: support each other and share hand cream
Lol no. Girls are bitches to each other more often than not. If it isn’t to your face it’s behind your back.maybe they are mean to you only. everybody in my group is supportive and we share hand cream.
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
[I’m so sorry this took me so long, Anon! Real life has been a little too real for me lately. XD]
"Pretty impressive party you throw, Fuhrer," Ling commented as he sidled up next to Roy. He had a plate in his hands, carefully handling the appetizers. Mustang was sure this was the Emperor’s fifth trip back for refills. At least.
"Believe me, with my schedule, this night would be better spent at home with a book," Roy replied with a bit of a crooked smile. "But it’s in the interest of networking that the Council deems it necessary to squander our money for something like this."
"Look on the bright side, your excellency, at least the food is good."
"I can always trust you to find the bright side. Especially if it’s about food."
Roy was about to comment further on Ling’s smug little smirk when he caught sight of gold across the room. The words slipped from his mind as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Oh how good Edward Elric looked in a suit. He fussed mightily the entire time he put it on, but it was worth listening to when the final result was achieved. The tailored pants and dress shirts were one thing, but the fitted waistcoat underneath a well-fitting jacket were a recipe for perfection in Mustang’s opinion. He didn’t care if Ling caught him staring; he’d probably get teased for it later.
"Uh-oh." Ling’s practically sing-song voice snapped Roy out of his reverie.
”What?” he asked, but he was already seeing it for himself. One of the other Xingian diplomats approached Ed and was chatting cordially with him. While Ed didn’t look particularly enthused with how close he was standing, he conversed well enough, his hands articulating some of his phrases. “Why uh-oh?” He glanced over to the emperor.
"That’s Adviser Shin," Ling replied, putting his plate aside and delicately brushing any crumbs from his robes. "He’s got quite a reputation in the court for being a shameless flirt."
Roy felt the heat crawling under his skin, but his expression didn’t change much. “Surely, their conversation is harmless.”
"His flavor is young, pretty and foreign."
Ling found himself alone at the food table so fast, it was as if Roy hadn’t been there a second ago. Oh well, he was taking care of the problem. Might as well help himself to another plate.
Now that he was up close, Roy could see the entirely too friendly way Adviser Shin was looking at Ed. It could have been his own imagination that made it seem far more lecherous than it truly was, but Mustang wasn’t taking any chances. He squared his shoulders as he approached, trying not to look as though he wanted to interrupt the conversation, even though that was his entire reason for being there.
"Ahh, Fuhrer Mustang," Shin greeted, turning that smile Roy wanted to punch to him. He was still looking at Edward out of the corner of his eye. "Thank you for your hospitality."
"My pleasure," Roy replied coolly. "I don’t believe we’ve had the opportunity for a formal introduction."
"Quite so." Shin clasped his hands behind his back and bowed, introducing himself. "And who is this fine young man?"
Roy’s arm slid around Ed’s shoulders, causing the blond to look up at him quizzically. “This is my fiance, Edward Elric.” He absolutely relished the crestfallen look he got in response. He hoped his smile didn’t give that away too much. As his embrace tightened around his lover’s shoulders, Ed shot him a look that he cheerfully ignored. He’d made his point, won that round as Shin politely exchanged a few more pleasantries, then slipped off to find a different victim.
"Really, Roy?" Ed’s voice was deadpan, and there was a faint flush to his cheeks. Though if he were really annoyed, he would have pulled away by now. As it was, he leaned in closer.
"Really." He lowered his voice. "You’re mine."
The flush darkened, and there was no way for Ed to deny Roy’s voice pitched like that did things to him that made him want this stupid party over with much faster. “Not in question,” he answered with just a hint of breathlessness to his voice.
"Good. Now, why don’t we go intercept your freeloading Xingian friend before he eats everything on the table."
Ed nodded, letting out his breath when Roy’s arm fell away. He already missed its warmth and what the weight of it meant, what it said to the rest of the room. He consoled himself in his embarrassment by telling himself that he’d have a field day with the next trophy wife that so much as giggled in Mustang’s direction. With that settled, they headed back to Ling, who had watched the entire thing with that smug smirk on his face.
The emperor owed Shin a bottle of sake for instigating such a fine performance.
Do you think that when Steve Rogers sneezes, one of the Avengers goes up to him and whispers, “God Bless America”
Then Steve fucking looks at them like this
no IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER TONY’S FACE OH MY GOD